Is a Rhino Part if the Pig Family
Imagine yous're an creature attending your evolutionary family reunion (just pretend that's a thing for the sake of this article intro, OK?). You might be surprised to find out how remarkably similar it is to your last family reunion: You lot spend the day trying to avoid "that guy" that no ane wants to acknowledge you really are related to, while the rest of your relatives randomly eat, fight or hump each other.
Here are five (more than) of those "that guy" relations in the fauna kingdom that testify development just likes to mess with united states of america.
Dolphins and Hippos
The cetaceans (whales and dolphins) are some of the nigh beloved and respected animals in the globe. Whales are the gentle giants of the sea, while dolphins are the fun-loving clowns who show up in a lot of female tattoos, despite the fact that they maybe likewise are series killers.
At present we all know that these regal creatures are mammals, and then they're not equally related to fish equally you might otherwise think. Simply it would exist safe to assume that their closest relatives would accept to be 1) aquatic and ii) not huge lazy fatasses, right?
Closest Living Relatives: Hippopotamuses
We really hope this isn't some sort of hipporgy.
Well, that first assumption was semi-right, merely we were way off the mark on that "huge lazy fatass" part. But don't tell them that to their faces.
According to recent evidence, whales and hippos probably share the same great-great-great- (ad infinitum) grandpappy that lived most l million years agone. This ancestor carve up into two groups: the cetaceans and the anthracotheres. Believe it or not, whales and dolphins used to walk on state and were semi-aquatic, like crocodiles and otters. Hither's a bad drawing of an Ambulocetus, an early whale ancestor:
Information technology turns out the distant past was kind of a huge nerd.
At present, here's an early anthracothere:
Well, Danny DeVito makes a lot more evolutionary sense now.
It'southward sort of similar a hippo that tried ane of those new fad diets and got even dumber as a result of the lack of nutrients. Anyway, over time the cetaceans became more than and more aquatic, until they eventually abandoned the land altogether. Meanwhile, the anthracotheres died out (presumably slowly and lazily), leaving but one descendant: the hippo.
In fact, scientists take argued that dolphins and whales should be combined into the society Artiodactyla, which contains not only hippos, merely too deer, camels, cows, pigs and giraffes. Withal, if you came across a whale humping a camel, you'd think information technology was weird.
But hey, we're not here to judge.
Bears and Seals
Nosotros humans have a very odd relationship with bears. On the 1 manus, we put our kids to bed with a stuffed one every dark; on the other paw, nosotros'd shit our pants if nosotros ever encountered a real i out in the wild. Accept that large guy standing upward at that place, for case: Have yous e'er seen another photo that simultaneously says "Hug me" and "I want to champ on your sweet, sweet face up-meat"?
So y'all're probably thinking that, since bears are somehow concurrently cute and badass, their closest relatives must also be equal parts both, right? Well, Mother Nature doesn't always work that way.
Closest Living Relatives: Pinnipeds (Seals, Ocean Lions, Walruses)
Any comport smiling similar that simply devoured a hiker.
Really, it looks like bears' closest living relatives have all the cute, but got severely shafted on the badass. The pinniped's location in the evolutionary tree has always been a fiddling tricky, but genetic evidence revealed that pinnipeds are closely related to bears and weasels.
"But Cracked," you say, "seals don't fifty-fifty have freaking feet. Y'all don't have to be a biologist to call bullshit here."
Truthful, but take you ever taken a close look at a seal's flipper? We're guessing that'south a no, then hither's a pic:
"Down depression -- TOO Dull!"
Now here's a bear'southward manus:
The seal's flipper is flatter, and the acquit's claws are longer (raise your paw if yous knew that seals even had claws), merely other than that, people who are way smarter than us withal spend a whole lot more than of their fourth dimension staring at animals' feet have found that they're very similar. Both have non-retractable claws, both accept 5 claws on each human foot, both have the same basic bone structure and both are plantigrade (meaning that both the heel and toe touch the footing).
In fact, the fossil record indicates that the pinnipeds probably arose from a bearlike ancestor chosen Puijila, which was a powerful predator that could run on all fours like a bear but likewise had webbed toes, allowing it to hunt in the h2o. Today, pinnipeds are rarely found in freshwater and, needless to say, they gave upwards on all that "running" bullshit long agone.
Perhaps i twenty-four hours, if nosotros burrow potato hard plenty, we can reunite with our wiser brethren.
Just think: If Puijila had taken a dissimilar turn on Evolutionary Road, we might have bears that could outrun, outclimb and outswim y'all earlier using their cuddliness to lure y'all direct into their pointy $.25.
Donkeys and Rhinos
The peaceful equids (horses, donkeys and zebras) were enslaved by the human race to exercise our behest -- sorry, domesticated -- several thousand years ago, and since that fourth dimension they've been an invaluable resource for transportation, agriculture, warfare, companionship and sometimes-horrifying entertainment.
So they're probably closely related to cows, sheep or some other animal you'd sing about living on an elderly Scottish man's farm, correct?
Closest Living Relatives: Rhinos
"Hee-haw."
They're related to the suborder Ceratomorpha, which sounds like something from the Power Rangers and includes the rhinoceros and the tapir. At present, assuming you haven't visited a zoo recently, you're probably thinking, "OK, so what the shit is a tapir?"
This is:
The shit is actually off screen.
So a tapir sort of looks like a rhino who's lost all his cool rhinoceros stuff (i.e., the armor and the confront full of death-by-impalement) and is feeling pretty bitter about information technology. Either that, or he's the only animate being in nature that's permanently constipated. Anyway, if you go far enough back, y'all see how similar all of these animals are. For instance, rhinos have iii toes that they walk on:
Just like that kid at school who grew upwardly existent shut to the ability plant.
... and and then did horses, once. But two of their toes evolved away with fourth dimension, leaving merely the one huge middle toe and toenail that nosotros now refer to as a hoof.
In that location'south supposed to be a unicorn in there somewhere.
That'southward right -- Mother Nature engineered horses to flip united states a perpetual bird with each foot. Which seems somewhat justified considering all the shit we've fabricated them do over the years, don't you think?
Hyenas and Mongooses
Nosotros know what you're probably thinking right nigh at present. "Come up on, Cracked," you say in your thick Scottish brogue (because we like to imagine that all our readers sound like Sean Connery). "Everyone knows hyenas are some kind of lopsided dogs. You can't surprise united states of america by telling united states that once y'all dig down past the inch-thick coat of ugly, they're practically homo's all-time friend."
But before you lot run out to the nearest rescue shelter to run across if at that place are any hyena pups bachelor, there'south something we demand to tell yous.
Closest Living Relatives: Mongooses
Dictionary be damned. The plural of "mongoose" will e'er be "mongeese" to us.
Wait, how could something that looks like somebody mixed equal parts broken stepladder, mange and hate be closely related to these cute and cuddly lilliputian ferret-things? Information technology might be easier to consume when you remember that mongooses like to murder the shit out of snakes just because why the fuck not? but, just ... CUTE! And hyenas tried to kill Baby Simba! Babe Simba! How could this exist right?
Well, cannibal mammals (the lodge Carnivora) are divided into ii suborders: the doglike carnivores (Caniformia) and the catlike carnivores (Feliformia). You might think by looking at them that hyenas belong in the "doglike carnivore" class, merely they really belong in the suborder Feliformia and share a shut branch with the mongoose family, which also includes the meerkat (e.chiliad., Timon from The Panthera leo King). That's correct, the lovable fiddling guy who convinces Simba to forget most all his worries is the long-lost cousin of the animals who helped impale his dad. Et tu, Timon?
In a higher place: The "Loose Change" of the lion world.
And yes, that also means hyenas are more closely related to cats than to dogs. So be sure to choice up a litter box when you go become yourself that new baby-sit hyena.
Ocean Squirts and You
Nosotros've talked virtually sea squirts (tunicates) before. They're the poor, unfortunate souls that swim effectually like picayune tadpoles, happy as any spermlike animate being can be expected to be, when all of a sudden their evolutionary programming takes over and they attach themselves to the sea floor, devour their ain brains, lose their ability to swim and filter feed for the rest of their tedious, miserable being.
So which animals do you think are these doomed little guys' closest living relatives?
Sponges? Corals? Worms? Nope.
Closest Living Relatives: Vertebrates Like Yous
Become Team Spine!
That'southward right, say hello to your Cousin Squirt.
Vertebrates (yous, other mammals, birds, fishes, reptiles and amphibians) are the closest evolutionary cousins of the sea squirt. In fact, scientists believe that the bounding main squirts (especially in their larval form) may resemble the original ancestor of all vertebrate life on globe. In other words, your earliest ancestors may have looked something like this:
If we're looking at that right, our ancestors were particularly well-hung.
Then consider this: Instead of inventing new applied science, creating fabulous works of art and writing dick jokes on the Net, we could accept parked our asses on the sea floor and devoured our own brains.
For more reasons we're better than Animate being Planet, check out 8 Ingenious Means Animals Outsmart Predators and 7 Animals That Are One Flaw Away From Taking Over the World.
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Source: https://www.cracked.com/article_19264_5-species-you-wont-believe-are-related.html
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